Me and My Boys

Job prospects...

2012-01-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

I'm on the referral list for two positions right now. I have an interview on Friday for the one I prefer. Haven't heard yet if I'll get an interview for the other.

I'll give more information if/when I get the job. For now, though, I'm super excited but not all that hopeful about the one I prefer. And much more hopeful but not all that excited about the other.

But, either would be better than what I'm doing now. I was hired as an intermittent secretary. Intermittents are used to fill temporary positions - someone is out on maternity or military leave, or someone was promoted and they haven't hired a new person yet, that sort of thing. I'm not guaranteed full time hours, although so far I've worked 40 hours/week. I don't get paid for federal holidays or earn vacation or sick leave. I've already worked at IT, Fiscal, and Facilities Management. I never know when I'll be moved. No fun...

Our new dog, Tank

2012-01-18T19:09:00.000-05:00

Riley passed away a few days before Christmas. He lasted about three weeks after his cancer diagnosis. He was such an awesome dog, and I'm really disappointed that we didn't get many happy years with him.

Because of some frustration with the rescue organization we'd been working with, we changed gears and adopted a lab rather than another boxer. They called him Brooklyn, but we changed it to Tank. We picked him up this past Saturday and brought him in for his first vet visit yesterday. He's 93 pounds and needs to lose about 20 of it. Other than that, he pulls more than he should on the leash (and with that much weight, he has a lot of pulling power) and he's very interested in the cat. His house manners are fabulous and he learns fairly quickly, so we have high hopes that we can train him to be just the dog we're hoping for.

Achalasia talk...

2011-12-17T11:25:00.005-05:00

I have achalasia.

I was lucky; the radiologist who performed my first barium swallow knew exactly what it was. Time between that test and my myotomy surgery was only four or five months. Many people with achalasia spend years trying to get their symptoms properly diagnosed. I was also lucky to have found an extremely knowledgeable support group online - the people in that group taught me a great deal about treatments, other symptoms, and so much more. The people in this group helped me immensely, and gave me the information I needed to educate a few of the professionals I came across. Who knows about a rare condition more than the very people that have it? I'd dare to say no one.

I. am. very. lucky.

My symptoms appeared in a textbook fashion. At first, I only had problems with dry food (bagels, rice, etc). Then over time, all food. Not long after, I got to the point that I couldn't even drink water without it 'sticking'. Only soda, with its carbonation, created enough pressure to push food and liquid through my LES. Then the truly horrible symptoms. I couldn't sleep laying flat; I had to raise my head. However, even still I would often wake up choking (aspirating - can easily lead to nasty pneumonia) on the food and liquid in my esophagus. I would get horrible chest pains that, according to others who've experienced both, were similar to a heart attack. And more gross and painful stuff, but you get the idea.

I had the barium swallow (that showed the barium was just sitting in my esophagus), an upper-GI endoscopy (to rule out cancer), and menometry (which proved that peristalsis wasn't happening, nor was my LES opening). The first two tests were no big deal. The third was .... not fun. All three of these are explained in the link above.

I had the laproscopic heller's myotomy surgery, with fundoplication, in December 2004. The surgeon cut my LES and wrapped part of my stomach around my esophagus to keep stomach acids from going back up through the, now cut, LES. Again, I've been lucky. I haven't had problems with acid reflux.

However, the surgery didn't relieve my symptoms for as long as I'd hoped. From the link above: "Surgery relieves symptoms in 70 to 90 percent of people. Symptom relief is sustained in about 85 percent of people 10 years after surgery and in about 65 percent of people 20 years after the surgery." But, only a few years later, food started 'sticking' again. Not as badly as before, and I haven't had the choking or chest pains, but eating is often uncomfortable. (Now I'm not feeling so lucky - only 15% don't get relief lasting at least 10 years. Mine didn't even last for five.)

I had a balloon dilation performed in 2009. The GI doc was conservative; he used a fairly small diameter balloon. I understand - perforation is most likely to occur during the first dilation procedure and perforation scares the crap out of me. His intent was to see how well it worked, and we could always do another if necessary. Well, something more will be necessary. I had only a couple of months of total relief after that procedure. I've been acting like an ostrich with my head in the sand about it, but it's getting worse and I really should have something done.

My worry is that I'm stretching out my esophagus by not getting the 'sticking' taken care of. A person can't regain lost elasticity, and I will probably live many more decades. Some people have had to have their esophagus removed (which requires the stomach to be pulled up to be reattached higher in the chest). I'd really rather avoid that, thanks.

But I'm also worried about acid reflux. Barrett's Esophagus can result from too much acid, and it can more easily lead to esophageal cancer. That's not easily treated, and in fact has a pretty horrible survival rate. Any treatment I get will increase my chances of acid reflux.

So, what to do... Something does need to be done, and I certainly shouldn't try to make the decision without professional advice.

Honestly, there's a test I'm sure I'll be asked to have redone and I'm hoping to avoid it. It was horrible the first time (manometry). Sure, it doesn't sound that bad, but it was painful. I don't know if it always is, or if the lady that was doing it did it wrong. All I know for sure is that I do NOT want to do it again. I need to get over the fear of it and get seen; maybe it won't need to be done again, and I'm procrastinating for no reason. Ugh.

In any case, the reason I'm writing this post... I have a Google Alert set up to email me whenever "achalasia" is in the news. I received an email today with not one but two articles in the same journal volume.

The first. Plain words summary: the myotomy surgery and balloon dilations have similar outcomes. Previously, it was generally thought that the surgery resulted in a longer term improvement.

The second. Plain words summary: there's a new method for the myotomy surgery that's done through the esophagus itself. The 'old old' way was to get to the esophagus from the back, deflating a lung, which obviously required a great deal of recovery. The 'new' way was laproscopic, from the front of the abdomen (and the method I had). A day or two in the hospital, but only five small inch-long scars. This 'new new' method results in no external scars at all, and from this (and other) recent journal articles, I've learned it's pretty successful in treating the problem. This particular study addresses this surgery even after a previous myotomy.

I'm now living very close to one of the best centers in the country for achalasia, the Cleveland Clinic. I really need to deal with the process of getting referred there for some sort of treatment for the symptoms I'm having now. I'll kick myself later if I don't take advantage of the geography before Darrell gets PCS orders. My problems aren't a huge problem currently; I'm only having to slow down while eating, take a type of breath I can't describe if I feel food not going down quite right, and food only gets badly stuck if I'm not drinking a lot during a meal. (Strangely, soda not only doesn't help like it did before my surgery, it makes it worse.) But, I'd be an idiot to not take advantage of the situation. Progress is being made, and perhaps I'm a good candidate for this new procedure. Or at the very least, I can get another dilation done by someone with a great deal of experience.

I just really hope I don't have to do that manometry test again. *shudder*

Wendy's!

2011-12-14T20:01:00.000-05:00

The deal: if Kaden can get three days in a row of "green behavior" at school, we'd go to Wendy's so he could use his free frosty coupon. Today was (finally) a day three! Off to Wendy's we went.

Ordered the frosty.

He ate his dinner and promptly gave his frosty to Justin.

*shrug* Oooookay. *laugh*

I'm a professor again!

2011-12-14T19:56:00.002-05:00

Passed my online training courses and just heard from my program chair - I'll be starting a Physical Geology (and lab) class in late January! I've missed teaching.

Studies the materials of the earth, its structure, surface features and the geologic processes involved in its development. This course includes laboratory experience.
1. Recognize and appreciate the vastness of geological time and illustrate this by example and/or metaphor.
2. Recognize and classify the common minerals and rocks by their observable characteristics.
3. Locate and identify geologic features using topographic and/or geologic maps.
4. Discuss the origin of intrusive and extrusive igneous rocks and recognize landforms associated with each.
5. Understand the weathering processes involved in the transition from bedrock to soil and sediment.
6. Discuss the processes involved in the formation of sedimentary rocks and relate them to modern and ancient depositional environments.
7. Understand the agents and processes of metamorphism and relate these to the various metamorphic rocks.
8. Analyze the causes and effects of earthquakes and relate seismology to the structure of the earth.
9. Describe the hydrological cycle and relate this concept to both the surface and subsurface waters.
10. Discuss the mechanics of Earth`s waters (e.g., running water, waves, tides and currents, groundwater), mass wasting, wind and glacial ice and relate these agents and processes to the origin of landforms.
11. Classify folds, faults, and mountains and discuss their origin.
12. Discuss the basic lines of evidence for continental drift, sea floor spreading, and plate tectonics.
13. Discuss the characteristics of plate boundaries and heat plumes and their relationships to earthquakes, volcanic and mountain building activities.
14. Read, analyze and apply written material to new situations.
15. Write and speak clearly and logically in presentations and essays.
16. Demonstrate the ability to select and apply contemporary forms of technology to solve problems or compile information.

Dinner!

2011-12-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Honey Sauced Chicken. Seriously, yum.

Woo hooo!

2011-12-10T16:39:00.002-05:00

Darrell's name is on the list! And in the top 25%, so he should be promoted before summer. No idea what that means yet regarding his next assignment. Branch says they won't talk to him until his sequence number is called and he actually pins on the new rank. (Velcros on the new rank?) AND, my best friend's husband made the list too! (Hi Dave!)

In other news, now that I'm working at the VA, I have more of a reason to pay attention to the Army-Navy game. Sure, I'm an Army vet, but I didn't attend West Point. I care more about my own alma mater (Kansas State) than West Point. There's quite a bit of friendly service rivalry at the VA, as you can imagine... It's 14-14 at the half, not bad!

ETA: Ah, so "we" lost. Bummer, but at least this year it was a close game.

Board results out Thursday?!!??

2011-12-02T10:18:00.002-05:00

In other news, the promotion board results for Darrell's possible promotion to master sergeant will be released on Thursday!! It usually doesn't happen until mid/late January. He, of course, is sure he won't get it. I understand that. It's a lot easier to deal with if you convince yourself you won't get it. I'm hopeful, but then this is his fourth time and I thought he'd get it each and every time.

If he's selected, he'll get a sequence number. It should be pretty low, since he's been qualified for promotion for years. If he's selected and gets a sequence number of, say, 7, then each month as the Army decides how many more E8s they need, they'll promote that many from the list. For example, say they need four in January. Sequence numbers 1-4 will get promoted that month. February they need three. Sequence numbers 5-7 get promoted that month, including Darrell. Get it? But it doesn't much matter what the sequence number is - if he's selected and gets a number, it's just a matter of time before his number is called (although obviously the bank account prefers sooner...)

If he's selected, we're almost surely moving this coming summer. There's only one E8 slot at the ROTC battalion here, and even though the guy there now is leaving this summer, there's already a guy on orders to replace him. Besides, they usually pick E8s that have held the rank awhile (and have already done a 1SG gig or two) to have that spot. We're okay with this - I'd rather move next summer and stay at the next duty station for a few years than to stay here and have Justin get even tighter with his friends here before having to leave (again).

Almost certainly, he'd get a first sergeant (1SG) spot in a unit getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan. That's where the need is. We're not expecting to have any say in where we go for this one. I'd love a short list to choose from, but not expecting that to happen.

If he's not selected, it's another year before the next promotion board is held. Last year, they selected only five out of hundreds with his MOS. He would have to walk on water or be BFFs with a board member to have made it last year. The Army just didn't need a lot of his MOS promoted last year - it was nothing personal. Although he knows that's the case, it's still really hard to take. His evaluations are pristine. His experience is as good as he can possibly have - he's done everything he can do that's within his control. However, he doesn't compete as well against guys who have gone to all the super cool schools (airborne, air assault, ranger, pathfinder, etc). He's never had the opportunity to attend any of them, even though he's begged to his whole career. Not fair, but it is what it is.

So, we wait. We expected the wait. But yesterday we found out that the wait is only one more week instead of almost two months. Eeeeek!! Also hoping for MY BFF's husband to make it. Cross your fingers for us...

A little better...

2011-12-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

The prednisone appears to be working. Riley is breathing a lot easier tonight compared to last night.

I've asked the boys to sit on the floor whenever they're around him. We're just going to love the heck out of this dog for as long as he is with us.

Wiggle seat update!

2011-12-01T16:08:00.002-05:00

Kaden has had the wiggle seat in class for two days now. He got green for behavior both days! He's only gotten green twice since the school year started (well, once she started using the green-yellow-red thing). Great job Kaden! If he can do it again tomorrow, it's Wendy's for dinner!

Riley has cancer.

2011-11-30T18:57:00.000-05:00

Riley's lungs are horribly squished by a massive tumor in his chest. The tumor is causing a buildup of fluid that's making the problem even worse. They drained two liters of fluid and still couldn't see his heart on the x-rays due to the tumor.

Our choices are bad and worse. Without any treatment, he has maybe a couple of weeks. With predisone, a little bit longer. We (and the vet) feel he has enough quality of life to not put him down immediately, so we're going with the prednisone to shrink the tumor (if it works) to give him some more room to breathe.

Pretty soon, though, we're going to have to put him down. Of course it's also Christmas, and I don't want to do it too close to the holiday. We'll have to see how much the prednisone helps and make that decision when it's time.

The boys have been told. Justin is a wreck. Kaden just keeps drawing pictures of him over and over. One for each of us, one for Riley, and I think one for the fridge.

What a difference a day makes.

Riley is really sick.

2011-11-30T16:18:00.000-05:00

Really sick. Darrell asked me to take him to the vet today because of some swelling in his neck, as well as obviously not feeling well. I figured it was just a cold that he'd get over - not a big thing.

I'm so glad Darrell had me take him. It's not a cold. Far from it.

I totally expected the vet to look him over, tell me it's an upper respiratory infection, here's some meds, yada yada. Instead, he listed to Riley's heart for a few minutes (which was hard since Riley's breathing is labored), checked him over, and then told me that he wants to admit Riley for xrays, bloodwork, fecal testing, who knows what else. I felt like I'd been run over by a bus.

He threw out words like possible cancer, lung deflation, cardiomyopathy (heart failure), pneumonia.

I held it together until I got to the front desk, then started crying. I know it's a different situation, but I can't help by think back to Kiwi, the cutie pie black kitten we adopted in South Carolina that died ten days later. I called Darrell in the car in the parking lot. He didn't answer, so I planned to drive to his work. I knew he wasn't teaching, and would probably be able to talk with me. On my way over, I noticed his truck in our driveway (we live just off the main road through town). Thank goodness.

I went in, without Riley of course, and Darrell asked me where he was. I couldn't talk and freaked Darrell out. Finally I calmed down enough to tell him what was going on.

It came from nowhere, ya know? He's been 'fine'... We've only had him for six week - up until three days ago, he seemed 'normal'. At least as normal as he's been since we got him. Turns out that he's not 'fine' or 'normal' at all.

I thought he was just out of shape. No, he's got 50% lung capacity, which is why he was getting tired so fast. I thought he just breathed faster. No, he's got something wrong, pushing on his lungs, or maybe there's fluid in there, or something. I thought he just had a cold!

The vet called back just before 2. He says the bloodwork is fine - no viscosity issues, no abnormal readings. It's not heartworm or lyme. And the other stuff shows it's most likely his heart or he has a tumor. The vet asked if he could do an ultrasound on his heart, and if he could insert a tube to drain off some of the fluid in his chest cavity - both to relieve some pressure off of Riley's lungs, but also to see what type of fluid it is.

And that's where we are now. The clinic closes in about two hours - I'm expecting a call sometime before then.

We're so attached to this dog already. I know it's only been six weeks, but when you plan to have a pet in your family for the rest of it's life, you get attached, ya know? I just hope we're still talking YEARS of the rest of his life. Still too early to plan anything. It depends on what's wrong.

Darrell and I have been 'what-if'ing any of the possible scenarios, but really there's nothing to plan or decide until we know what the situation is. I just told the boys that Riley's at the vet. They haven't asked anything further.

I'm not mad at the rescue organization - there's no way they could have known. But the vet says that there's no way that Riley is only three years old. He's getting five or six. We wouldn't have adopted him if we'd known that. This is the exact situation we were trying to avoid. We wanted a young dog so that we weren't dealing with this kind of thing for many many years. Instead, six weeks later, here we are. It is what it is, and we'll deal with it, but I'm.... what, mad? I don't know. Certainly disappointed, devastated, sad. And yeah, a little bit mad.

We love him, that's for sure. This totally sucks.

It's starting...

2011-11-28T08:42:00.000-05:00

The tree is up!

2011-11-28T08:25:00.001-05:00

As much as I don't like putting up the tree, I love it once it's up. You can't tell, really, in this picture, but I like a little bit of tree with my lights. That takes forever, especially towards the top (having to keep putting my arms down for blood flow *laugh*).

So far, the dog has left the tree alone. And since the cat has banned herself to the second floor (to stay away from the dog), the tree might be safe this year.

I love our tree. I love the mish-mash of ornaments we've collected over the years. I'll never understand the family Christmas trees that follow a different theme each time.

Sam's favorite mashed potatoes

2011-11-26T15:00:00.001-05:00

And mine too. Oh my goodness.

Thanks Tyler!

Another yummy recipe

2011-11-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

Crockpot meatballs. Couldn't be much easier, and they're super tasty!

Christmas Crafts!

2011-11-26T14:32:00.000-05:00

Carol, Justin, Kaden, and I (well, Darrell made one too) spent an hour or so making button ornaments today. I originally saw the idea on Pinterest, and had hoped to make enough to send to everyone for Christmas gifts since our two income household became a one income household. But now that I'll be gainfully employed soon, we're keeping most of them for ourselves.

Anyway, it's super easy. The hardest part is finding the right buttons. I found mine here. I wish the average size was larger; we ran out of the big ones long before using up the small ones. But, it was a fun and easy craft, even for Kaden.

I bought long pipe cleaners from Walmart and folded them in half. Used the two ends to go through the buttons, then twisted the very ends for the loop to hang on the tree branch. Ta-da!

Can't go wrong with cheese and bacon.

2011-11-26T14:24:00.001-05:00

Bacon and Cheese Chicken. Who would have thought to pair teriyaki with cheese/bacon? Not me, but I'm glad she did.

Thank you, Anne.

2011-11-23T11:50:00.001-05:00

You will most definitely be missed.

Promotion?

2011-11-22T16:52:00.000-05:00

The annual E8 board has concluded and results will be released early next year. Darrell's had a few chances at this promotion, but hasn't been selected. Last year, out of over two hundred eligible 11Cs, five were selected. With those numbers, you'd have to be BFFs with a board member or walk on water to be selected.

With the economy in the tubes, many senior NCOs have chosen to stay in the Army longer than they planned. Since they're not getting out, there aren't as many openings for the rank below to be promoted. This is the situation we're stuck in now.

However, the Army has started to make it more difficult to just stick around a few more years. Soldiers with 20+ years in are finally leaving; whether by choice or not, it opens up higher probabilities that Darrell will make the list this next time. As the Army draws down, his chances will likely improve each year. But dang, he's been a Sergeant First Class for quite some time now. We're hoping for better luck this time.

Pretty smart guy.

2011-11-22T16:09:00.001-05:00

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.
It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.
A ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for.
The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.

These are attributed to Albert Einstein. No idea if he actually said all or any of them.

Meet: Riley

2011-11-22T15:07:00.001-05:00

Riley is our new-to-us boxer dog. We've waited YEARS to get a dog; it never seemed to be the right time.

Well, our waiting is over.

We have many friends with boxers and we knew we wanted to adopt from a rescue organization that fosters their dogs to families rather than keeps them at a shelter somewhere. Since we have younger kids and a cat, we had to wait a while before a dog became available that wouldn't harass one or the other.

Riley was found as a stray. He's an estimated three years old and was super skinny when brought into the rescue. He still has about ten pounds or so to gain to fill out all the way, but we're getting him there.

At some point in the near-ish future, we'll probably get another one. We'll wait until the time is right, and until then continue to get to know Riley.

Kaden and the Wiggle Seat

2011-11-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

Kaden is in kindergarten. His birthday is only a few days before the cutoff. Kaden is a boy.

Therefore, it is not too surprising that Kaden is having difficulty sitting still in class. He's a very young kindergartner and he has a first year teacher. His teacher is not young; she has a few children of her own. However, she doesn't yet have a lot of experience in a kindergarten classroom. It's been pretty challenging, and on the advice of friends with more experience than the teacher and I have, we're going to try out the Wiggle Seat.

From Google's first search result link:

If your child is full of energy and fidgets and wiggles, sitting in a desk chair for prolonged periods of time may be a particular challenge. Kids who have trouble sitting still may wobble their desks, rock their chairs, spring out of their seats, or otherwise do things to annoy the teacher without even realizing they're doing it. How to keep your child comfy on that unforgiving wooden slab? Here are five quick solutions to talk over with your child's teacher and try for everybody's relief.

Solution number one is a cushion generally called a Wiggle Seat.

Anyone who has been around Kaden more than a day or two knows his favorite color is yellow. So, I Amazon-ed us a yellow wiggle cushion. He'll bring it with him to class after thanksgiving break is over, but I figured we'd try it out at home during mealtime in the interim.

I'll keep ya posted.

Thanksgiving without Sam

2011-11-22T12:57:00.002-05:00

For the first time in many years, we won't be going to my best friend's house for Thanksgiving. (Sob!) We're on our own! Yikes! My sister will be coming to visit, but it'll still be a smaller dinner than we've gotten accustomed to.

On the menu: turkey, ham, homemade mashed potatoes (using Sam's favorite recipe), stuffing (Stove Top), gravy, corn, honey carrots, rolls, pickles/olives, cheesecake, and apple pie. Darrell might toss in some sweet potatoes and store-bought pumpkin pie. I plan to brine the turkey (a la Alton Brown).

It's our first turkey at home since, I believe, our first Thanksgiving after we got married. If all fails, Pizza Hut is open - right?

Civilian living in the Army

2011-11-22T12:42:00.003-05:00

Yes, we're still an Army family, but we're living in the middle of Army-nowhere. The nearest Army post is hours and hours away. I thought I'd like it, but I don't think I do.

Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful here. We loved living in Colorado Springs with the mountains right next to us. Although there aren't any mountains in view, we are living in a house less than two blocks from a small lake. A completely different kind of beautiful. I've never lived lakeside before, and we're looking forward to taking advantage of it. Apparently it will freeze over this winter - I've already seen flyers for an ice putt-putt fundraiser. Fun! And of course we hope to rent a boat at some point.

Also, we're in the lake effect region of the country. You'd think we would have gotten lots of snow in Colorado, but not where we were in the Springs. The average snowfall here is about 150 inches per winter season. Yikes!

So as much as we're enjoying the location, I'm missing the camaraderie. I haven't made any friends yet, there aren't any new-military-family events, and until next month, I haven't had a job. I've very much enjoyed taking some time off, but I'm starting to get stir crazy. I've read literally hundreds of books, taken the (new) dog for many walks, and enjoyed many naps, but I'm raring to get back into the working world. And for those of you who are my Facebook friends, you'll get this complaint again - I really miss the commissary! We've been so spoiled being able to buy groceries at super low prices. The sticker shock hits me every time I go to the store here.

We're not completely alone; Darrell isn't working by himself, after all. There's just no comparison between brigades worth of Soldiers and their families and a small office with less than a dozen coworkers. It's different, and it's reminded me of how much I really do like living in an Army community.

Dinner!

2011-11-22T12:17:00.003-05:00

Easy Pulled Pork Sandwiches

I made this for dinner last night and finished off the leftovers for lunch. Super easy, and kid approved.

A year and a half?

2011-11-21T12:25:00.000-05:00

I knew it'd been awhile since I posted here, but had no idea it had been that long.

As a blogger, I suck.

Anyway, update time. We now live in Pennsylvania. The nearest Army post is hours and hours away. I thought I'd love living like a civilian again, but actually I miss the whole Army lifestyle thing. The commissary especially, but also the camaraderie.

We've adopted a dog, Riley. He has some isolation anxiety issues to deal with, but is otherwise a great fit into the family. At some point in the semi-near future, we'll probably adopt another rescue boxer to keep him company. The cat is not pleased, but she'll just have to deal.

The boys are doing well in school. J has made some friends in the neighborhood and is playing the trombone again. K is loving kindergarten but is having problems sitting still. We're hoping a wiggle seat will help (basically a nubby plastic cushion to sit on).

I recently accepted a job offer and will be starting in early December. It's a federal position (yay!) but for now is intermittent. They hire their full time staff from their intermittent pool, so I'm hopeful for permanent full time work in 2012.

D is relaxing as much as possible in his instructor position. It's nice not having a deployment looming on the calendar, but this job isn't as laid back as we thought it'd be. Still, he's home for dinners and weekends most of the time. We'll take it!

The promotion board results will be out in January/February. If D makes the list, there's a good chance we'll be moving this coming summer. If not, we'll be here at least another year.

That's what we're up to at the moment. Hopefully it doesn't take me so long to update again...

Geology makes Lamebook!

2010-04-28T22:15:00.002-04:00

It's been forever...

2010-04-24T16:05:00.001-04:00

It's been forever since I've put up photos. Here're the boys today. =)

Student Loan Debt

2010-03-13T10:13:00.003-05:00

Take a minute and check this site out.

I have a 50-50 type of story. I first went to college right after high school. I was accepted into a very strong engineering school; it was very expensive, but I had a great plan. I won a fabulous Navy ROTC scholarship, but it had conditions. If I met those conditions after my freshman year, the Navy would pay for the next three years. I would earn an officer's commission and spend some time in the Navy making decent officer's pay. My parents agreed to pay for my freshman year, as long as I met the conditions of the scholarship. If I didn't, I'd be required to pay them back.

Well, I ended up getting a D in my freshman calculus class. I needed a C for the scholarship. I'd like to say I tried as hard as I could, but I think it was more a situation that I never had to try to earn good grades in high school and didn't really know how. In any case, calculus at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute kicked my behind, and I lost a $60,000-plus scholarship.

I convinced my parents that I needed to do another year at RPI. They said they'd front the money, but that now I owed them for two years tuition. Ridiculously, I agreed. I had fabulous friends there and was having the time of my life. Stupidly, I spent more time having fun than going to class. My RPI friends probably don't know this, but I was academically dismissed after my sophomore year. Not showing up to finals certainly didn't help...

I stuck around for a third year, having all the fun of a college student (and conducting the pep band - the most fun year of my life, pre-marriage) but not going to class. My parents had already paid off the loans by refinancing their home, so I didn't have student loan payments hanging over my head. Thank goodness, because while it was an awesome year, it was also the poorest I've ever been. All in all, I now owed my parents almost $50,000 for less than 40 transferable credits.

Fast forward a few years. I'm married and newly out of the Army (and qualified for the GI Bill). My husband is stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas, and I decide to go back to school. Kansas State University is a reasonably cheap opportunity that I can't pass up. Because my husband is active duty, I'm allowed to register as a Kansas resident. I also spend a lot of time applying for scholarships. Between the two, the GI Bill, and a teaching assistant gig the geology department offers, I finish my bachelors degree with less than $10,000 in student loans. I paid the interest fees for the unsubsidized loans as I went, but happily allowed the government to pay the interest for the subsidized loans.

Fast forward a few more years. After two years at Fort Jackson, we find ourselves back at Fort Riley. K-State's geology program welcomed me back with open arms, a GTA position, and more scholarships. I actually made money earning my masters degree.

So, let's compare:

A) Two years of an essentially worthless private school education (although the chemistry credits allowed me to not have to take chem I and II for my geology bachelors) = $50,000

B) Six years of public school education = <$10,000 (although if you factor in the paycheck I earned as a TA/GTA, it's probably closer to zero)

It's with this experience/history that I read the above posted article. I commiserated with the students that chose a prestigious private school that specializes in their major. I mentally high-fived the students that smartly chose to ignore the hype and earned degrees at public universities. But I mostly strongly nodded my head at the man who has zero student loans, instead spending some time in the military. Yes, he did two deployments to Iraq, but he earned his GI Bill benefits and learned more about life around the world than any degree program could possibly teach.

I was young, dumb, and stupid in every way when I first graduated from high school. I chose a major because of a suggestion from my high school guidance counselor - I didn't know enough about myself to really have any idea what I wanted to be 'when I grew up' and thought that the more prestigious and glamorous university had to be a better choice. Now that my step-kids are making the same decisions, my husband and I are using our own experiences to help the kids make smarter choices than we did. My step-daughter has chosen to start at a community college; she also took so many AP classes in high school that she began as a sophomore. My step-son will be graduating from high school a semester early and has decided to work through the spring and summer to earn more money before starting college 'on time' in the fall. He hasn't yet decided where he'll apply and what he'll major in, but he's leaning in the right directions - away from uber-expensive private schools.

I still owe my mom for my two years at RPI. While I'm now halfway kicking myself for that situation, I don't regret the three years I spent there. I made some wonderful friends at RPI and had the time of my life. However, the realist in me recognizes that I would also have made fabulous friends during those same three years if I'd been living at home and working at McDonalds. Still, it is what it is. I've chosen to learn from the experience instead of beating myself up over it, and I hope my kids will be able to use those experiences to make better decisions for their futures.

3rd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division deploys to Iraq

2010-03-09T21:49:00.002-05:00

The Iron Brigade recently took a closer step toward its upcoming deployment to Iraq by ceremoniously saying goodbye.
The 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division held its casing ceremony on March 3, at Manhart Field so that the Iron Brigade could bid farewell to the leaders, Soldiers, and Families of Fort Carson and Colorado Springs prior to deploying in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Mayor Lionel Rivera of Colorado Springs, other city government officials, Fort Carson leaders, and Families attended to witness the casing of the brigade colors by Col. James E. Rainey, commander, 3rd BCT, and Command Sgt. Maj. Miles S. Wilson, brigade command sergeant major, 3rd BCT.
The casing ceremony signified that 3rd BCT has completed all training and preparation, leaving nothing left to accomplish but the mission, said Staff Sgt. Michael Bellamy, assistant brigade aviation and operations noncommissioned officer, Headquarters and Headquarters Troop, 3rd Special Troops Battalion, 3rd BCT.
“This means that we are ready to roll out,” said Bellamy, who participated in the ceremony as part of the color guard.
Due to the symbolic casing of the colors, the ceremony was an emotional experience that brought a realization that the brigade is leaving very soon, said Lori DiGiambattista, wife of Lt. Col. John DiGiambattista , commander, 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd BCT.
The 3rd BCT has been conducting its comprehensive training program for 13 months in preparation for its upcoming mission to southern Iraq. The brigade will serve as an advisory brigade for Iraqi Security Forces who are taking the lead in ensuring the future stability and safety of the Iraqi people.
“The United States Army has never deployed a better trained or better led brigade to Iraq,” said Maj. Gen. David G. Perkins, commanding general, 4th Inf. Div.
According to Perkins, the Iron Brigade will have a significant impact on Iraq’s future.
“The final fingerprint that the 3rd Brigade Combat Team puts on Iraq will be indelible and may well last for decades to come,” said Perkins.
The brigade has prepared for the upcoming deployment through major training events, such as Operation Iron Strike and a month-long rotation at the National Training Center, in order to be standing firm and ready for any adversity that it may face while in Iraq, said Rainey, during his ceremony speech.
With the united support of Fort Carson, the Colorado Springs community, and Soldiers’ Families, the Iron Brigade will leave for Iraq with a strong foundation.
“As we case our colors today for the brigade's fourth deployment to Iraq, we all want you to know one thing,” said Rainey. “The men and women you see standing before you and the 4,000 Soldiers of the Iron Brigade that they represent are banded, equipped, and trained to accomplish our mission.”

As posted on Facebook. Photos included at the link.

I work for a battalion in 3rd brigade. Guess it's about to get pretty quiet...

Water consumption in Edmonton during the gold medal hockey game

2010-03-09T21:42:00.001-05:00

I haven't enjoyed a blog post as much as I enjoyed this one in a LONG time. Thanks, Jim.

Well, if you want to get technical...

2009-12-31T21:25:00.002-05:00

On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

2009-11-11T20:59:00.001-05:00

From the book On Combat by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

"Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always, even death itself.
The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for?"

- William J. Bennett
In a lecture to the United States Naval Academy
November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me: “Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident.” This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another.

Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin’s egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.
“Then there are the wolves,” the old war veteran said, “and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy.” Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

“Then there are sheepdogs,” he went on, “and I’m a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf.” Or, as a sign in one California law enforcement agency put it, “We intimidate those who intimidate others.”

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath--a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

The gift of aggression

"What goes on around you... compares little with what goes on inside you."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everyone has been given a gift in life. Some people have a gift for science and some have a flair for art. And warriors have been given the gift of aggression. They would no more misuse this gift than a doctor would misuse his healing arts, but they yearn for the opportunity to use their gift to help others. These people, the ones who have been blessed with the gift of aggression and a love for others, are our sheepdogs. These are our warriors.

One career police officer wrote to me about this after attending one of my Bulletproof Mind training sessions:

"I want to say thank you for finally shedding some light on why it is that I can do what I do. I always knew why I did it. I love my [citizens], even the bad ones, and had a talent that I could return to my community. I just couldn’t put my finger on why I could wade through the chaos, the gore, the sadness, if given a chance try to make it all better, and walk right out the other side."

Let me expand on this old soldier’s excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are dozens of times more likely to be killed, and thousands of times more likely to be seriously injured, by school violence than by school fires, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their children is just too hard, so they choose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.”

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog. As Kipling said in his poem about “Tommy” the British soldier:

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind,"
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door. Look at what happened after September 11, 2001, when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, “Thank God I wasn’t on one of those planes.” The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, “Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.” When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

While there is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, he does have one real advantage. Only one. He is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory acts of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

However, when there were cues given by potential victims that indicated they would not go easily, the cons said that they would walk away. If the cons sensed that the target was a "counter-predator," that is, a sheepdog, they would leave him alone unless there was no other choice but to engage.

One police officer told me that he rode a commuter train to work each day. One day, as was his usual, he was standing in the crowded car, dressed in blue jeans, T-shirt and jacket, holding onto a pole and reading a paperback. At one of the stops, two street toughs boarded, shouting and cursing and doing every obnoxious thing possible to intimidate the other riders. The officer continued to read his book, though he kept a watchful eye on the two punks as they strolled along the aisle making comments to female passengers, and banging shoulders with men as they passed.

As they approached the officer, he lowered his novel and made eye contact with them. “You got a problem, man?” one of the IQ-challenged punks asked. “You think you’re tough, or somethin’?” the other asked, obviously offended that this one was not shirking away from them.

“As a matter of fact, I am tough,” the officer said, calmly and with a steady gaze.

The two looked at him for a long moment, and then without saying a word, turned and moved back down the aisle to continue their taunting of the other passengers, the sheep.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I’m proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, “Let’s roll,” which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers--athletes, business people and parents--from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

“Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

"here is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men."
- Edmund Burke
Reflections on the Revolution in France
Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn’t have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.
If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior’s path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church. They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs. Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to slaughter you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, “I will never be caught without my gun in church.” I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a police officer he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas, in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down 14 people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy’s body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for “heads to roll” if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids’ school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them. Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones were attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?”

The warrior must cleanse denial from his thinking. Coach Bob Lindsey, a renowned law enforcement trainer, says that warriors must practice “when/then” thinking, not “if/when.” Instead of saying,“If it happens then I will take action,” the warrior says, “When it happens then I will be ready.”

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: You didn’t bring your gun; you didn’t train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by fear, helplessness, horror and shame at your moment of truth.

Chuck Yeager, the famous test pilot and first man to fly faster than the speed of sound, says that he knew he could die. There was no denial for him. He did not allow himself the luxury of denial. This acceptance of reality can cause fear, but it is a healthy, controlled fear that will keep you alive:

"I was always afraid of dying. Always. It was my fear that made me learn everything I could about my airplane and my emergency equipment, and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit."
- Brigadier General Chuck Yeager
Yeager, An Autobiography
Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation:

"..denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn’t so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling. Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level."
And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes.

If you are a warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be “on” 24/7 for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself... “Baa.”

This business of being a sheep or a sheepdog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-grass sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

Nantucket, I applaud you!

2009-10-31T12:56:00.003-04:00

Nantucket not only recycles most of their trash, but their landfill is actually shrinking. Click here for more.

If they can do it, so can the rest of us. Hopefully it doesn't take too long to figure that out.

The associated article is here. Looks like it's catching on.

Freezing rain...

2009-10-11T10:51:00.002-04:00

My front yard:

Work update:

2009-10-03T16:33:00.003-04:00

Finally got email/network access on Thursday. It's amazing how much more work I can get done when I don't have to drive to the library, email a document to myself, drive back to work, kick someone off their computer, just to print a page. Or, save it on their desktop to email to someone else...

I love earthquakes. But...

2009-10-03T16:29:00.002-04:00

This? Very scary.

That's seventy-nine earthquakes (map), starting at an 8.0 (!!) and aftershocking in the 4s and 5s for days.

The biggest earthquake I've personally experienced was probably in the 5 range. I cannot imagine going through what the people in that part of the world have been going through. And this, of course, is just one of the many earthquake disasters in recent history.

Finally officially working, but...

2009-09-20T10:16:00.002-04:00

still without internet access at the office. Grrrr.

Duties: The Family Readiness Support Assistant (FRSA) serves as the administrative assistant for the units Family Readiness Group (FRG) Program. The incumbent performs a variety of clerical, technical, and administrative duties, and implements and maintains family support services for family members separated from the military sponsor due to mobilization/deployment or other duty requirements. Contribute to combat readiness by promoting efficient and effective communication. Demonstrate sensitivity to the diverse needs of mobilized or deployed soldiers and family members. Maintains oversight of FRG activities and updates the commander. Provide assistance, information, referral, and follow-up on all areas of FRG programs. Identifies family readiness requirements and participates in the development of local programs and policies. Maintain knowledge of latest changes in the FRG Program, Army Family policy and community resources. Assist with maintenance of the unit's virtual FRG and AKO websites.

See how much of that requires internet? Communication? Mostly via email. Websites? Obviously on the internet. Keeping in the loop? Yep, all the information distro is via email.

What's the holdup? I submitted paperwork for my background check near the end of August. The proper procedure is for the powers-that-be to start/finish my background check at the same time I'm waiting for my official paperwork to get through the system so that I can get my ID/computer access card. The paperwork for the card happened faster than the background check. So, the intelligence folks at my workplace submitted the request for network access with an old clearance investigation. Hopefully it'll still work (it did at Ft Jackson a few years ago), but if not, I'm hoping they'll check the system on their own and see if the background check has been completed and run with that.

Until then, I'm trying my very best to be patient, and running to the library with my personal laptop to handle the internet stuff that needs to be done. Not very efficient, but it'll work in a pinch.

I'm enjoying the job so far. Lots of fantastic people. I'll be very happy to be completely up and running.

How cool is this?!

2009-09-20T10:05:00.001-04:00

Co-workers discover they're really brothers.

Another wow.

2009-08-13T11:20:00.001-04:00

If all goes according to plan, cancer survivor Kyle Garlett will compete in October's Ford Ironman World Championship, a grueling triathlon made up of a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a 26.2-mile run. And he'll do it with another man's heart pumping in his chest. "I don't think there's anybody who wouldn't consider me a success story and a survivor," Garlett said.

His medical issues began in 1989 when he received his first Hodgkin's disease diagnosis as a high school senior. In 1995, during his third battle with the cancer, doctors ceased his chemotherapy treatment when they discovered it had weakened his heart. Two years later, Garlett learned he had secondary leukemia as a result of chemotherapy to treat the Hodgkin's, and three more years of chemotherapy ensued. And after five years on the waiting list, he received a new heart in 2006.

Now, the 37-year-old savors his body's capabilities. "It's kind of like the starving person who all of a sudden finds himself in front of a buffet. And now I've got the buffet. I've got my all-you-can-eat plate, and I'm just loading it up," Garlett said.

More here.

Wow.

2009-08-06T12:48:00.004-04:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibraltar_Airport

Almost there...

2009-07-31T03:00:00.001-04:00

I was called tonight by my soon-to-be boss. Yes, a job offer is extremely imminent!! Plus, I didn't think I would start working until October, but apparently funding has come through to start me as soon as the paperwork can be completed.

Outstanding.

Fer real, transparent aluminum!

2009-07-31T02:58:00.000-04:00

http://www.ox.ac.uk/media/news_stories/2009/090727_2.html

Oxford scientists have created a transparent form of aluminium by bombarding the metal with the world’s most powerful soft X-ray laser. ‘Transparent aluminium’ previously only existed in science fiction, featuring in the movie Star Trek IV, but the real material is an exotic new state of matter with implications for planetary science and nuclear fusion.

In this week’s Nature Physics an international team, led by Oxford University scientists, report that a short pulse from the FLASH laser ‘knocked out’ a core electron from every aluminium atom in a sample without disrupting the metal’s crystalline structure. This turned the aluminium nearly invisible to extreme ultraviolet radiation.

''What we have created is a completely new state of matter nobody has seen before,’ said Professor Justin Wark of Oxford University’s Department of Physics, one of the authors of the paper. ‘Transparent aluminium is just the start. The physical properties of the matter we are creating are relevant to the conditions inside large planets, and we also hope that by studying it we can gain a greater understanding of what is going on during the creation of 'miniature stars' created by high-power laser implosions, which may one day allow the power of nuclear fusion to be harnessed here on Earth.’

The discovery was made possible with the development of a new source of radiation that is ten billion times brighter than any synchrotron in the world (such as the UK’s Diamond Light Source). The FLASH laser, based in Hamburg, Germany, produces extremely brief pulses of soft X-ray light, each of which is more powerful than the output of a power plant that provides electricity to a whole city.

The Oxford team, along with their international colleagues, focused all this power down into a spot with a diameter less than a twentieth of the width of a human hair. At such high intensities the aluminium turned transparent.

Whilst the invisible effect lasted for only an extremely brief period – an estimated 40 femtoseconds – it demonstrates that such an exotic state of matter can be created using very high power X-ray sources.

Professor Wark added: ‘What is particularly remarkable about our experiment is that we have turned ordinary aluminium into this exotic new material in a single step by using this very powerful laser. For a brief period the sample looks and behaves in every way like a new form of matter. In certain respects, the way it reacts is as though we had changed every aluminium atom into silicon: it’s almost as surprising as finding that you can turn lead into gold with light!’

The researchers believe that the new approach is an ideal way to create and study such exotic states of matter and will lead to further work relevant to areas as diverse as planetary science, astrophysics and nuclear fusion power.

A report of the research, ‘Turning solid aluminium transparent by intense soft X-ray photoionization’, is published in Nature Physics. The research was carried out by an international team led by Oxford University scientists Professor Justin Wark, Dr Bob Nagler, Dr Gianluca Gregori, William Murphy, Sam Vinko and Thomas Whitcher.

Just for fun...

2009-06-27T11:59:00.000-04:00

Reminds me of RPI...

2009-06-05T13:30:00.004-04:00

Click to see entire strip.

Laughing so hard I'm crying...

2009-06-05T13:21:00.003-04:00

Click to see entire strip.

Happy 3rd, Kaden

2009-05-25T18:50:00.004-04:00

Today, please remember...

2009-05-25T10:01:00.000-04:00

Flowers arrived at Capt. Marissa Alexander's office at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, on June 3, 2005. Her husband, Staff Sgt. Leroy Alexander, was half a world away fighting with the Special Forces in Afghanistan, but he had found a way to send a floral arrangement to his wife, who was five months pregnant with twins. "He called me and asked me what building I worked in. He said he had to update some records," Alexander said. The flowers lifted her spirits.

But a few hours later, her emotions would be thrown into a tailspin. Alexander saw two Army officers in dress uniforms knock on her front door. One of the officers started to talk: "We regret to inform you..." If he said any more, Alexander doesn't remember. "The next memory I have is in my kitchen, banging on the floor. I just couldn't believe it," she said. The good feelings from flowers delivered a few hours before were gone, replaced by shock, pain and mourning. A roadside bomb had made her a widow.

Staff Sgt. Alexander now lies in Arlington National Cemetery's Section 60, where 500 soldiers, Marines, airmen and sailors who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan are buried. For years Section 60 has been the one of busiest parts of the cemetery. Every day new burials bring precision marches, the somber tones of taps and the nerve-rattling three-gun salutes.

Then there are family and friends who come to the graves to make an emotional connection to their lost loved ones.

Memorial Day weekend brings even more activity and more visitors. Adults, even some uniformed generals, walk slowly between the rows and rows of headstones, looking for a familiar name. But small children often seem to find the cemetery a place to explore, even play. Their smiles and curiosity remind grown-ups that even in a place synonymous with death, life goes on.

A sense of community has emerged in Section 60. "I've come here at times and I've met people who were paying remembrances to their loved ones. You become friendly," Capt. Alexander said. "You see each other sometimes and you make a friendship because you know that your loved ones died for the same cause."

Angie Capra's husband is buried a few yards from Leroy Alexander. Air Force Tech Sgt. Anthony Capra was an explosive ordnance disposal expert, killed trying disarm a bomb in Iraq. "Other widows will come by and put something on there for me if they don't see me. They'll put down flowers. It's kind of a community," Capra said.

More than flowers adorn the graves in Section 60. Visitors of all faiths have picked up the ancient Jewish tradition of leaving a small stone on the headstones to show that a visitor had been to the grave. In most cases these are pebbles found near the grave. But some people have taken to leaving colored glass beads or elaborately painted stones with shamrocks or words like "hero."

Capra recently found a small Yoda figure on her husband's grave. She doesn't know who left it, but it must have been a friend, because her husband loved "Star Wars." "We never know who puts stuff" on the headstone, she said.

Some mementos leave one to wonder about the story behind them. Like the headstone topped by a tiny bottle of Tabasco hot sauce. Or a set of dog tags with a name that didn't match the name on the headstone. There is another topped by a small Lego toy, perhaps left by a child whose father died in a far-off land before they even knew each other. Or the grave adorned with an empty bottle of Bud Light, a rubber duck and a candle. Nearby an empty Wild Turkey bottle is the lone addition to the grave of a soldier who died in a country where drinking alcohol is strictly forbidden.

Capra has found a variety of items on Tony's headstone. "Coins, lots of rocks, candy. My husband was a candy freak," Capra said. "There was a cross. A little necklace, Mardi Gras beads during Mardi Gras season. Anything they have they'll put on top to show that they are thinking about them at the time." Alexander seems to draw strength from the items she finds. "Someone came and did a picture of Lee, and it was a hand-drawn picture. I thought that was very interesting," she said. "People who haven't been seen in years will leave a note of some sort. It's nice to know that you've been remembered after all of this time. To know that we have friends who still love and support us, that is just wonderful."

Section 60 has been called the "saddest acre in America," and without a doubt sadness abounds. But so do comfort, support and even an occasional smile.

Source

Why...? Was it worth it?

2009-05-24T10:52:00.003-04:00

I'm about as anti-NRA as a sane, rational person can be. Read this:

May 24th, 2009
Two killed in Arizona standoff
Posted: 05:32 AM ET
(CNN) — Two people were fatally shot and another five injured — including a police officer — during a standoff Sunday at a home in Arizona, authorities said.

The multiple shooting in Mesa occurred when a man got into an altercation during a graduation party, said Sgt. Ed Wessing, a spokesman for the Mesa Police Department.

Authorities did not immediately say what led to the altercation.

The suspect went to his car, got a gun and shot two people dead on the front lawn, Wessing said.

Police were eventually able to persuade him to leave the house and give himself up, Wessing said.

The injured included a 10-year-old who suffered a grazing wound to the head. The suspect also fired at police who arrived at the scene. One officer was shot in the arm, Wessing said.

All five suffered minor injuries, he said.

Mesa is a suburb of Phoenix, the capital.

^ — CNN’s Sara Pratley contributed to this report.

So rather than just haul off and punch the guy (which I don't condone, but it's better than what happened), he went to his car and got his gun. Killed two people over an argument. About what? Was it worth spending years in prison to be right?

I know it's too late for this country (in that changing the laws won't remove guns from our society), but I'd be lying if I said I never thought about moving somewhere else with stricter gun laws.

Let's do a time warp!

2009-05-24T10:07:00.003-04:00

The geoblogosphere is doing a call for posts (an Accretionary Wedge). While this isn't strictly a geoblog, geology is my thing. So, readers, where and when would you most like to visit to witness and analyze an event in Earth’s history?

Suppose you have a space-time machine to (safely and comfortably) watch an event unfold; which event would you most like to see? Why? What do we already know or hypothesize about that event that appeals to you, or that you would like to test? What would be the result, the upshot, of knowing more about this event? You do not necessarily need to limit yourself to Earth, nor to the past. You do not need to limit yourself to a particular instant if peeking several times over a period of minutes or ages helps you envision the evolution of something. You do not need to limit yourself to environments that could support life as we know it... imagine being able to take a time-sampling of magmatic composition from 10 miles below the surface as a nascent mid-ocean ridge opens up, or examining the circumference of the vent during one of Yellowstone's mega-eruptions! I'll tell you, this technology is basically magic. (See the third law here.) Feel free to toss in a few "also-rans" of your favorite day-dreams, but please develop one. This isn't intended to be just a set of lists.

Anyone? If you'd like to play along, please either leave a comment here or post in your own blog and leave me a link.

My baby is three today!!

2009-05-24T10:05:00.001-04:00

Pictures will follow. We're having a (very) small get-together with our best friends. Presents, cake, and probably hours on the playground in our backyard.

Happy birthday, K-Kaden!!

sigh

2009-05-21T15:57:00.004-04:00

Found this here. Click on the image to enlarge.

Text of handwritten note:

Note: Just to let you know it is not that we don't believe in things like that it is just misleading when you speak about it being billions of year old, when we all know that the world is only about 6000 years old, so why would I pay so that you can misslead my children, your world is just a revolving, our's has a start and an end. God created the world he created animals and man all in the same week. It was also Adam who named all the animals, they will do the essay rock and minerals, but it might not be 5 pages long, and not about billions of years ago, it'll be according to the Bible

Oops, it's been way too long...

2009-05-21T15:50:00.004-04:00

So, the thesis is finished, submitted, and I'm all graduated and stuff. Now I'm looking into that whole job thing.

I have some bites out there to some federal government positions. One is super convenient (right down the street from J's summer child care location, but for not so much money), one is fantastically wonderful (but quite a ways away and I'm not sure how my experience/education will compare to the others who've made it to the referral list), and one is middle-range money and the same distance away as the fantastically wonderful job.

And of course I'm still applying.

I called to inquire about the convenient position - they referred my resume to the selection official three weeks ago and I've not heard from them. I figured the interviews had happened already and I should cross it off the list, but the helpful lady on the phone says it took her four months to get through the hiring process. Wow, for a GS-5 job?

As is typical, the federal process takes for.ev.er... The last time I went through this process, it only took about three weeks to get the notice of referral, receive the call for the interview, and then the call for the offer. Guess I need to get used to hanging out at home.

I'm open to lots of things. I'm going into this job search with an open mind. Sure, I know what I'd like to end up with, but I'm not sure if I can get everything I want. Rather like house hunting, I'll put up with a few things I'm not happy with if I can get the things on my 'must have' list.

And I wait again...

2009-04-24T17:08:00.003-04:00

So, I just sent off my thesis draft. Just for kicks, I went back and looked at my first one. Wow, what a major difference. That's why she gets paid the big bucks.

I know length has nothing to do with it but draft one was 35 pages, draft two was 45, draft three was 52, and draft four is 63. It definitely still needs finesse, but I think the bones are there. Last night (and the night before), I just couldn't think. My analysis and conclusions were just *poof* gone. Today, I was on a roll. Good thing, 'cause she wanted it back today.

In other academic news, I got the last of four PPT presentations turned into my GIS professor yesterday. I spent the morning doing some research on the paper he wants me to write - my last requirement for my last class. Unfortunately, it's a 2500-3000 word requirement, which is roughly 8-10 pages. Bleh. However, it's on a topic I'm interested in (GIS in education - he wanted it to mirror my masters research, but there's no way to add GIS into my ability group thesis, so I went with a more broad topic) and there's TONS of stuff out there. (Which means I have a crap-ton o' papers to read!)

Oh! I just got an acknowlegement email from my advisor. She got it, will read it over, and get comments back this weekend. She knows the deadline is coming up fast, and I hope the rest of her life takes a break for a day or two so she can focus on ME.

She wants to have it out to the committee early next week and schedule the defense 5-10 days (ish) after that. But first, she has to approve it for committee.

Why is it...

2009-04-07T17:56:00.002-04:00

that the faucet closest to the hot water heater takes the longest to emit warm water?

Still some work to do...

2009-04-06T10:10:00.002-04:00

Finally heard back.

While there's quite a bit of work yet to do, I'm confident that we'll be able to get it together. Hopefully by graduation, but I've been told I can participate in commencement even if it's not completely done.

Works for me, now let me get back to it...

A new kind of anxiety...

2009-04-05T17:25:00.002-04:00

I emailed the first full draft of my thesis to my advisor on Friday. She sent me a reply soon after, saying she'd look at it and get comments back the next day.

I hovered near my laptop all day yesterday. No comments.

This morning, I emailed back: "Is it so bad that you're still writing comments?" She replied that she's still looking through it and she'd respond in a few hours.

Those hours have come and gone...

This is an entirely new kind of anxiety for me. Having never done this before, having no rubric (so to speak) on how to write up a thesis for this particular project, I have no idea if what I've written is even the ballpark with 'good enough'.

Is it just needing a bit of tweaking? Does it need to be overhauled? Do I need to delve into the statistics a bit more (please no! I've had number nightmares for weeks now!)??

Please, just let me know. The waiting sucks.

Why did the fault line cross the road?

2009-03-16T14:55:00.001-04:00

*snicker*

Found here.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud...

2009-03-16T13:14:00.003-04:00

But then posts like these (and this) remind me that I really do know quite a bit about geology.

I have to admit I've never heard the term nickpoints, nor Froude and Wheeler Diagrams, but I'm pretty good on the rest.

Recent pictures of the boys

2009-03-13T20:58:00.005-04:00

One of Justin at the top of Pike's Peak.

And Kaden's new 'do...

Bribed with ice cream

2009-03-13T16:33:00.002-04:00

Finally got Kaden's hair cut yesterday. I'll try to get a picture soon.

It was moderately successful in that the hair got cut but he wasn't too thrilled with the idea.

We'll try again in three months.

Hmm.

2009-03-13T16:31:00.000-04:00

Source: The Denver Post

Mind boggling...

2009-03-10T12:44:00.005-04:00

You would think as a geologist, I'd have a pretty decent grasp of big numbers. 4.6 billion years? Sure, that's a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. I get it.

I thought I was ok with 'trillion' too until I just read this:

Courtesy the credit crisis and big bailout packages, the figure “trillion” has suddenly become part of our everyday conversations. One trillion dollars, or 1 followed by 12 zeros, is lots of money but have you ever tried visualizing how big that number actually is?
For people who can visualize one million dollars, the comparison made on CNN should give you an idea about a trillion - “if you start spending a million dollars every single day since Jesus was born, you still wouldn’t have spend a trillion dollars”.

Amit goes on, so please hop over there and read the rest. Stretch your brain a bit.

From the CNN clip, a trillion $1 bills stacked up would reach a third of the way to the moon.

Wow.

It's the little things...

2009-03-03T19:38:00.003-05:00

Part of moving a lot means finding new establishments to do business with every time you move. Today's frustration ~ finding a place that will cut Kaden's hair.

Now, this sounds easy enough on the surface. His hair is too long. Take him to HairCutzRUs and get it cut. Well, no. He's two. He hates getting his hair cut. Doing it the 'normal' way amounts to torture. Seriously.

Last time, a friendly hair stylist (Great Clips near the Target in Manhattan, KS) suggested cutting Kaden's hair while he was sitting on the floor playing with his toys. It was a total success. He only fussed a little bit and I had the lady cut his hair as short as she could get it. I tipped quite well, Kaden was happy, and I looked forward to a repeat performance the next time. I had hoped that we could slowly wean him into the 'normal' way. A few pain-free haircuts and we'd be scot free!

Alas, we moved before we could try it again.

Today, I went to another Great Clips. It was practically empty. Perfect, or so I thought. There were two ladies working. One had a customer, the other wasn't busy. We went in, I explained what we needed, and asked if there would be anyone there who was willing to try it. She looked unhappy about the idea and went to talk to her manager in the back. When she came back out, she explained that they'd be unable to meet my request because 'it would be unsanitary.'

Now listen, I wasn't asking/demanding/requiring her to do it. If she wasn't willing, at least she could have asked the other lady working. But no, she didn't even give that a chance, just when whining to her manager.

Um, I'm not asking you to eat your dinner off the floor, merely kneel down for a few minutes while MY SON sits on the floor. My toddler son who has his hands on anything and everything during the day and is constantly sticking things in his mouth anyway. My request. I'm perfectly willing to deal with whatever might be unsanitary on your floor.

Grrr. Fine.

I'll try that store one more time another day in hopes to find someone else willing. It's convenient. It's cheap (I even had a coupon for $6.99 today). And it was another Great Clips employee who even gave me the idea in the first place, for cryin' out loud.

Another net theft

2009-02-25T17:13:00.004-05:00

Seriously, if someone could give me the idiot's guide to the correct way to do this (and by 'this', I mean that whole trackback credit thing), I'm all ears (eyes)...

I'm speechless right along with this one:

To say that I was shocked, appalled and dismayed on hearing the "volcano monitoring" comment in your speech following President Obama's address to Congress would be a massive understatement.

You, and anyone who thought that including that comment in the Republican rebuttal was a good idea, are guilty of the dangerous and pervasive attitude of willful ignorance about science that has sadly pervaded the government of this country in the past eight years. It is extremely frightening that you, the governor of a state that recently experienced a major natural disaster, think that the paltry amounts spent on volcano monitoring in our country are a waste of money.

It is simply appalling that you cannot be bothered to educate yourself about some of the most basic knowledge that geologic science has to offer. Volcanoes are extremely dangerous and costly phenomena. The people of states like Hawaii, Alaska, Washington, Oregon, and California, depend on volcano monitoring to preserve their lives and livelihoods.

Perhaps you think that $140 million is too high a price to pay for the thousands of lives that were saved by volcano monitoring during the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption? Or the millions of dollars in commerce and countless lives that are preserved by monitoring Alaskan volcanoes which lie in the flight paths of major shipping and passenger airlines? Are you the least bit aware that a major volcanic eruption could produce enough ash to reach even Louisiana, disrupting or shutting down air traffic for thousands of miles and crippling our country's airline industry? Or that an eruption or collapse of Mount Rainier could kill or displace tens of thousands of people with ash falls, pyroclastic flows and mudflows?

Lack of monitoring and communication caused the needless deaths of 23,000 people in the 1985 eruption of Nevado Del Ruiz volcano in Columbia. Would you prefer that we, a technologically rich country with the expertise and resources to prevent such a disaster, should eliminate the very monitoring programs that enable us to do so just because politicians like you can't be troubled to learn about why they're so important?

Your attitude toward volcano monitoring as a representative of our country's government is irresponsible and potentially deadly. If you suggest that we should discontinue volcano monitoring simply because you refuse to make the effort to understand it, then you are making yourself personally accountable for the lives, property and money that will be lost in volcanic eruptions. I am sure you will be happy to explain to the American citizens who will suffer from your recommendations why your state deserves funding to monitor and mitigate the hazards associated with flooding and hurricanes, but their homes and lives are unworthy of protection.

$140 million is a small price to pay to prevent the millions, possibly billions of dollars in property and commerce and tens of thousands of lives that will be in danger in the event of a volcanic eruption in the United States. Even now, Redoubt volcano in Alaska is showing signs that it may soon erupt, and the effects of such an eruption will not only impact the people of Alaska, they will affect the oil, fishing, and airline industries as well. Saying that we should discontinue volcano monitoring in the midst of a potential volcanic crisis is stupid, irresponsible and ignorant.

Blind adherence to politics is one of the reasons that America is in the middle of an economic crisis today. Don't make it worse by adding natural disasters to the mix.

You have, in your callous, ill-educated and ill-considered words, grievously insulted the men and women of the geologic community who have dedicated their lives to protecting others from natural hazards such as volcanoes. They do their work for the sake of ordinary Americans who, on their own, have no way of understanding or preparing for volcanic eruptions. You show enormous disrespect for the scientists who safeguard the safety of those who live in the shadow of active volcanoes.

I am truly frightened by anyone who claims to represent American citizens in public office by making such irresponsible and, frankly, stupid statements about scientific endeavors that he has made no effort to understand. You, and anyone who supports you in this statement, are unworthy of being responsible for the safety of the American public, and I hope that those in charge of our nation's budget will rightly ignore your hideously bad ideas.

From here.

ETA: And he's standing by his idiotic remarks:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal's swipe at federal spending to monitor volcanoes has the mayor of one city in the shadow of Mount St. Helens fuming.
"Does the governor have a volcano in his backyard?" Royce Pollard, the mayor of Vancouver, Washington, said on Wednesday. "We have one that's very active, and it still rumbles and spits and coughs very frequently."
Jindal singled out a $140 million appropriation for the U.S. Geological Survey as an example of questionable government spending during the GOP response to President Barack Obama's address to Congress Tuesday night.
The governor, a rising Republican star, questioned why "something called 'volcano monitoring' " was included in the nearly $800 billion economic stimulus bill Obama signed earlier this month.
"Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington," Jindal said.
But Marianne Guffanti, a volcano researcher at the U.S. Geological Survey, said, "We don't throw the money down the crater of the volcano and watch it burn up."
The USGS, which received the money Jindal criticized, is monitoring several active volcanoes across the Pacific Northwest, Alaska and Hawaii. One of those is Mount St. Helens, about 70 miles north of Vancouver, Washington, and neighboring Portland, Oregon.
The volcano killed 57 people when it erupted in 1980 and sputters back into action periodically, most recently in late 2004 and early 2005, when it sent plumes of steam and ash thousands of feet into the air.
USGS researchers are also keeping a close eye on Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano, about 100 miles from Anchorage, which is predicted to go off again within a few months. Its last eruption, in 1989, disrupted air traffic and forced down a commercial jet that sucked ash into its engines.
"If we can give good information about what's happening, that system of diversions and cancellations all works much more efficiently," Guffanti said. "And fewer people are delayed and standard business is resumed quickly."
Louisiana is no stranger to natural disasters itself, having been devastated by hurricane Katrina in 2005. But Timmy Teepell, Jindal's chief of staff, said the governor stands by his statement.
"That was just one example of wasteful spending in the largest government spending bill in history," Teepell said. "The governor made it clear that we need to grow jobs, not government."
The $140 million line-item for the USGS includes not only monitoring, but also replacement of aging equipment "and other critical deferred maintenance and improvement projects."
The spending could provide new jobs "no different than the amount of money you would spend on building a street or building a bridge or something," said Danny Boston, an economist at Georgia Tech university in Atlanta, Georgia.
Pollard, a former Army officer who has served as Vancouver's mayor for 14 years, said USGS equipment used to keep tabs on volcanoes is frequently damaged or destroyed. He said he wasn't sure how many jobs the money could produce, but, "For us and the people who live closer to it than Vancouver, it's important."
"We lost lives the last time, and we could lose them again," he said.

Found here.

Making of a Military Wife

2009-02-24T15:01:00.002-05:00

Not sure about the netiquette for this, but I read this here at MilSpouse.com today and found it post-worthy:

Making of a Military Wife
What does it take to be a military spouse? The answer is much more complex than the superficial “attractive” card or the absurd “gold digger” judgement. It takes a lot to be one of the few, the proud, the military wives…
Strength
Perhaps one of the most crucial characteristics in a military wife is her strength. She has to hold down the home front when her better half is deployed, often taking care of a house, children, pets, school, and a career. As a Marine wife, I am accustomed to hearing that I have “the toughest job in the Corps”. I don’t know if it’s any harder than being in a war zone, but being a military spouse certainly isn’t an easy title to bear. You have to be emotionally, mentally, and even physically strong (to help carry all that gear to and from the family car)!
Financial savvy
When the family unit is together, the military spouse is often responsible of the budget. She pays the bills, puts money into savings, buys the groceries, buys what the children need, allots money to her spouse, and-if by some chance there’s money left in the bank- she may buy something on sale for herself. When her husband is deployed, it’s even more important for a military wife to have financial savvy. With all the special duty pay coming in, she needs to be able to keep it straight and put her husband’s hard-earned money to good use (i.e. savings, paying off debt, buying necessities).
Shopping smarts
A military spouse can often be found cutting coupons, comparison shopping, and searching for sales. This is because she has shopping smarts. Being on a budget, like many military families are, requires one to research and scout out the best bargains for food, clothes, household goods, entertainment items, etc. The smart shopping military wife may also be spotted buying groceries at the Commissary or things for her family at the Exchange, because she knows how to use these savings-centric stores to her advantage.
Independence
Another important quality for a military spouse is to be independent. It’s almost a necessity, really. Being clingy is futile, because sooner or later, her husband must go fulfill his call of duty in a country far, far away. But it’s not just in times of deployment where a military wife must be independent. She has to find her own interests, instead of becoming so wrapped up in her husband’s career that she loses her own identity. She also can’t rely on friends and family as easily as civilian wives, because family is often far away and friends PCS often.
Organization
Organization is a key trait to being a true military spouse. When her husband calls frantically explaining how much trouble he will get in for losing his weapons cards, she must be on QRF (Quick Reaction Force). Bounding into action, the military wife will find exactly where his beloved weapons cards are -due to exceptional organizational skills- and drive like mad to deliver the goods before SSgt. Anonymous finds out.
Flexibility
A military spouse must also be flexible, because almost everything in the military is “tentative”. She might have a romantic Friday night planned, babysitter in-place, and find out her husband must work late again. This requires flexibility, and a healthy dose of patience, not to get upset at her hubby, the government, or “The Man”. It is important for her to keep in mind that plans change, and there’s nothing that can be done.
A Personable Demeanor
It’s beneficial to the military wife if she is personable, because she will more easily make friends. She can talk to anyone about anything, is friendly and welcoming, and is eager to help. All of these traits are important in a world where every two to four years, an entirely new circle of people comes into her life. In order to gain and maintain a support system, a military spouse makes new friends easily and quickly. She finds other moms and arranges play-dates, chats up the newly married neighbors for a double date night, and bonds with her husband’s co-workers so when planning a party, she knows exactly who he’d like to invite.
Creativity
The ability to be creative is another survival skill in the life of a military wife. It arises in many situations from whipping up a quick dinner recipe from scratch to planning a special birthday for her child with homemade decorations and cute, creative invitations. Because of her need to be thrifty, quick-thinking, and flexibile, the military spouse’s ability to be creative is almost instinctual. I know plenty of spouses that find creative ways to work from home, redecorate for little money, and plan the sweetest things for their husbands during special times (like Valentine’s Day and homecoming).
Military wives come from all walks of life and pursue many different interests; but they certainly have these traits (and trust me, many more) in common!

This entry was written by Brittany Landers, posted on February 24, 2009 at 2:17 pm

It feels great to be productive

2009-02-19T22:34:00.002-05:00

I have one last class before graduating in May. Actually, I don't need it to graduate, but I do need it for an additional grad certificate I'm working on. The instructor agreed to let me undertake an independent study due to our move.

He's assigned five rather large assignments. I finished the first one today. Hopefully he'll get a chance to look it over soon so I can get started on the second while I'm still motivated.

Ahhh, it feels good. I can't wait to be DONE with all of my lingering K-State responsibilities.

:::

I had to take a break this morning to find a book in all the moving boxes. I tore through the garage, the master bedroom, anywhere, looking for it. No dice. Darrell comes home for lunch and finds it within the first three minutes of looking. Hmph.

Anyway, the book was found, the project was completed, and I already know what I'm doing for the next one. Works for me.

Almost a week?

2009-02-16T09:09:00.002-05:00

It's been a crazy busy week:

Wednesday - packed up the little extended stay apartment, J's parent-teacher conference, we sign for our keys to the new place

Thursday - the movers are here! Woo! E comes to stay for the weekend

Friday - Darrell and I play musical cars dropping K and E off at day care, the three of us (Darrell, Justin, me) drive all over town getting errands done

Saturday - all the kids are home, Darrell babysits and organizes, I go out shopping for random organizing stuff and new window treatments for the boys' rooms

Sunday - see Saturday

E has been a joy to take care of these last few days. Sure, she and Kaden go after the same toy occassionally, but Kaden has been very brave sharing his room and his things. We've been having Justin and Kaden sleep in Justin's room, giving E her own space to sleep. I know Justin is looking forward to having his room to himself, and I am positive Kaden wants his room back. But, all three of them have behaved themselves wonderfully. It's been fun getting to know E a little better.

Tomorrow, I have to get to work on stuff for school. No more excuses. I'll be so glad when all of my K-State responsibilities are OVER!

Another 'typical' military hardship...

2009-02-10T17:50:00.006-05:00

I got a call an hour or so ago. My best friend's stepmother died suddenly. Setting aside the tragedy for a moment, this normally would have been logistically difficult for her. She and her husband have three kids at home, one a very young toddler. The drive to the funeral is about seventeen hours.

Fortunately, she and I are living in the same town again. We met in Kansas while our husbands were stationed at Fort Riley and were in the same english composition class at Kansas State. Our friendship strengthed while the guys were on their first Iraq deployment. After that, she and her family left for Alaska; we went to South Carolina.

Amazingly, we're back together again. Rather than take the toddler on the long road trip, she's able to leave her with us.

One of the reasons I left the Army was that Darrell and I were required to have a 'Family Care Plan' as we were a dual military couple. An FCP requires both a short-term and a long-term care provider. The short-term person is the emergency "ack! we're deploying in three days!" provider. The long-term person would then travel down to our duty station and take over or transport the kid(s) back to their own home. I'm guessing that most families had the same problem we did - the only people I knew and trusted well enough to watch my child were also in the Army and would be deploying along with us.

Having friends and family at 'home' is rare. My best friend and I are very aware of how special it is that we're stationed together again. It's times like these that make us both so thankful for our friendship and our close proximity.

Not all about military moving is as easy as unpacking, though...

2009-02-09T15:59:00.003-05:00

The down sides of moving often aren't as easily handled as the physical move.

Our kids are getting older. This is the first time Justin has moved in the middle of the school year. He's handled it quite well, fortunately. And as he continues to get older, his friendships will be harder to maintain over distance. For now, a few phone calls and emails work for him. Kaden is too young still to be concerned about keeping in touch with friends, but he still has to deal with adapting to a new daycare.

Also, employment for me. Last time, I was going back to school at Kansas State University. They welcomed me back with open arms. This time, I don't have a clue how long it will take to find a new job. Fortunately, we don't need me to work in order to pay our bills. However, I'm going to go insane if I don't find something regularly productive to do with my days.

For now, I have my thesis to write, a project to finish, and one last GIS course to work on. If all goes well, all three of these will be done by May. I hope I'm not still unemployed by then.

Military moving

2009-02-09T15:52:00.002-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, military moving isn't that bad. In fact, we usually make money on it. If you choose to do all the work yourself, you could actually make quite a bit of money on a military move (ie: DITY moves).

We've done that and unless we find ourselves in a financial emergency, we're not likely to do it again any time soon.

Instead, we'll let the professionals handle it.

They came and packed up all of our stuff in one day. All we had to do is dismantle the electronics (TV, computer, etc) and set aside stuff we didn't want packed. They do the rest. In fact, it's better to NOT do any packing yourself, as they Army won't pay for any items that are damaged if the owner packed them.

So, you basically just sit back, stay out of the way, and watch the movers pack for you. Bliss, I tell ya!

On the receiving end, they'll unpack the truck, putting everything where you want it, and unpack as much or as little as you choose. They'll even take the boxes and packing paper with them.

I generally choose to have them unpack the kitchen and the boys' rooms. I like to do the rest myself on a slower pace. My best friend had them unpack EVERYTHING on her last move, to force her to find 'places' for everything quickly. Both methods work quite well.

I love figuring out where the easy stuff goes (forks, bowls, and pots for example) and despise figuring out where the hard stuff goes (random stuff that's been in the garage for the last few moves). But it's all part of moving with the military.

Financially, we're still making some money. Combined with my scholarship money, our tax return, and the last bit of Iraq pay, our last credit card balance is about to take a steep nose dive. Hopefully by our next PCS (permanent change of station), that'll go to our future (investments) instead of our past (debt). I'm pretty sure that'll be the case.

Moving often disrupts our dining life...

2009-02-09T15:48:00.004-05:00

One of the silly yet most challenging parts of being a military family and moving a lot are our dining choices. We love a good Chinese buffet and a Mexican restaurant with fantastic cheese enchiladas. Finding these diamonds in the rough can be expensive, as we try one place after another in our desperate attempt to find the new favorite places.

So far, we've been to one Chinese buffet. Horrible. Very few choices. Not very tasty. More expensive than it should have been for such a limited number of entre choices. And so the search continues...

Now, I happen to be a member of a wonderful message board with ladies all over the country (and a few countries around the world). I've recently hit a local gal for suggestions. Score! Now we can hopefully reduce the time and expense of finding some likely places to fill our 'favorite restaurant' category. Thanks Elaine!

Kaden might be hitting his wall...

2009-02-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

Kaden has been rather cranky lately. I wish I could explain to him what's happening so that he'd understand. Just a few more days and he'll have his bed and his couch and his toys back. Soon, kiddo!

He's been stuck on the movie "Cars" lately. He watches it on D's laptop and as soon as it's over, he's yelling for more. *laugh* We're hoping to find some of those Cars wall stickers for his new room.

Justin, too, could use a bit more space. He's hanging in wonderfully through all this upheaval.

Darrell's battalion is redeploying from Iraq currently. I love seeing all the "Welcome Home Daddy!" signs. I get teary every time. Unfortunately for Darrell, that means he doesn't have anything to do. He'd rather have something to do.

I, on the other hand, have plenty to do and no motivation to do it. I have no excuses.

No major plans for the day

2009-02-07T10:48:00.003-05:00

Justin wants to go to Target and get a big Bakugon with his allowance money. I also need to return a baby gate we recently bought there. It's floppy! Who designs a baby gate that flexes? All you have to do is push on it and it pops out. Odd.

At some point, we need to go to the commissary for some food shopping.

That's all we have planned. It's been years since we've had 'normal' weekends and we don't know what to do with them. *laugh*

Love it when a mistake ends up in MY favor!

2009-02-06T12:18:00.003-05:00

I called all the utility companies today for the final payoff info since our mail is in forwarding la-la-land. Took care of getting those payments set to be mailed out (love online banking!)

While I was making phone calls, I figured I'd find out what our last vehicle payoff amount is. We have this loan through a pretty small old-school bank. I actually was given a payment book when we bought the car. They don't have an internet account system where I could check the balance along the way, so I've been estimating. We've made several large payments over the last couple of years, so really, I only had a vague idea what the balance was.

Well, was I WAY off!!! It's about $2500 LESS then I was expecting. And oddly enough, it's within $200 of our tax refund. Sweet!

Thanks to the extra money from Darrell's Iraq deployment, we've been able to pay off four of our six credit/loan accounts in the past 16 months. If I get a job in the next couple months, it's conceivable that we could be out of consumer debt this year, and possibly even pay off my last student loan soon after that.

I. Can't. Wait.

We have nothing invested for retirement, other than the years Darrell has with the Army. We're way behind the power curve, but I'm hoping 2010 will turn that around. And, if things go according to the Army's current plan, Darrell will be back overseas again some time that year (*cue rolling eyes here*) which means we'll have a few more dollars to throw at a retirement fund.

:::

D and I dropped by the new place again this morning. The living spaces look so small without furniture in them! *laugh* We were looking through windows still, haven't been able to get inside... The bedrooms upstairs are bigger than we've ever had, though. Well, the master bedroom is a bit smaller than our South Carolina house, but the boys rooms are much bigger than they're used to. Here's hoping we can contain most of their toys UPstairs.

A bit of good and a bit of blah...

2009-02-05T15:54:00.003-05:00

The good: Kaden is doing MUCH better. Woo!

The blah: I stopped by the new place this afternoon. They've ripped out all the carpet! Now, this is good as we'll get new carpet in the bedrooms and the stairs. It's also good because we'll have laminate wood floors on the upstairs hallway and the whole downstairs. However, it's bad in that we have two young boys who make a lot of noise. We're going to be sharing walls (it's a townhouse) and I have a feeling our neighbors would have prefered us having wall-to-wall carpeting. *laugh*

Also, my job stuff appointment didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Basically, I had a crappy paying GS-3 job at Ft Jackson. Even though I'm qualified up to a GS-9 (depending on the job), they can only offer me the equivalent of a GS-3 with this spousal priority placement thing they have going. I have to apply and compete for anything better. Uh, yeah. That will definitely be happening.

Took a drive over to the new place today...

2009-02-04T14:54:00.002-05:00

And it was open! Score! Let's go take a look! Or so we thought.

Turns out it was being painted. Normally, I wouldn't care, but they were using the professional sprayers and I'm wearing purple (the walls are the usual rental boring white). Bummer.

Anyway, we took a look around the building. The gate in the backyard fence needs to be adjusted/fixed. There's a cool playground directly behind the place (Kaden's going to LOVE it). There's even a small basketball court with normal goals on two sides and shorter goals on the other. I think we'll get Justin a basketball for his half-birthday in a few weeks.

We get the keys in just over a week. I plan on going back and checking again over the next few days. Maybe we can catch the carpet cleaners or something so we can take a look around.

:::

Darrell and I also dropped by to see how Kaden is doing. He calmed down in just a few minutes after I left this morning and has been doing fine since. Even went outside without his blanket! He's never been one to need his blanket, but it's sure been helpful for this transition. A few more days and we won't even bring it with him any more. Yay!

:::

I should be getting a phone call from the guy at CPAC today about my job stuff. *crossing fingers* Darrell should be getting his unit info today. *crossing fingers* In reality, I doubt we'll have either happen...

Carried over from my facebook:

2009-02-03T23:30:00.004-05:00

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love being a mom. But staying at home with the kids would be torture for all of us.
2. I feel like my thesis isn't rigorous enough to earn my degree. But, if my committee thinks otherwise, who am I to complain?
3. I hate looking for a job when I don't really care what job I get. (Not entirely true, but the chances of me getting the job I really DO want are slim to none...)
4. I would love to get a dog, but it'd have to be the perfect dog (doesn't chew or slobber, is completely house trained, etc) - but, we're moving on post and they have a two pet limit. And we already have two cats, so I guess no dog any time soon.
5. I'm more of a homebody than I ever thought I'd be. I do enjoy spending time outdoors, but I hate bugs. I've heard there aren't as many mosquitoes in Colorado Springs, so I'm hopeful. LOTS of beautiful places to experience here!
6. I don't like to sit down and watch a movie. But if someone else puts one in, chances are good that I'll watch it with them.
7. I can't decide which type of pickle I want on my tuna sandwiches, so I usually do half sweet and half dill. If I'm really hungry, I'll make two sandwiches, one for each pickle type.
8. I would happily exist the rest of my life eating only pasta, fruit, and ice cream.
9. I love learning. I'd much rather watch some show on Discover Channel than watch the latest "reality" show or prime time drama.
10. I'm not big on phone calls. But I'm completely content to IM people all day. (krbosco@gmail.com if you're interested ;)
11. I can't seem to find a pair of jeans that fit right. I've spent way too much money on pants that end up disappointing me. Who had the brilliant idea of putting stretch into jeans? They fit fine when I put them on, but 15 minutes later, they're saggy. Gah!
12. Haagen-Daas Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream is by far my favorite. Green mint chocolate chip (with chocolate shavings) is a distant number two. Followed by a rich plain vanilla. Yumm.
13. I misspell "ya'll" all the time and I don't care. Yes, I know it probably should be spelled "y'all" but it looks dumb that way to me.
14. I've recently fallen in love with honey crisp apples.
15. I've been craving steak lately. Wonder if it's the altitude? I know I need more iron...
16. My achalasia is getting worse again and I'm sticking my head in the sand about it. "Terrified" is too strong a word, but I'm more than concerned about the treatment that I'll probably have to have done to help it.
17. I love Mt.Dew. I try to cut back or *gasp* give it up, but I can't honestly tell you I hope I'll be successful some day.
18. I love my kids. I feel like I don't give them equal attention, but it's hard to be "fair" with a toddler that just needs more than my 3rd grader.
19. I can't seem to keep my blog updated. I try, but I haven't found the right balance between maintaining enough anonymity (should I even bother to try??) and giving more complete updates on what's happening in my life.
20. Most of my best friends are people I've met online. I've met most of them in person since then. I love it, they're friends I can take with my when I move and maintain the exact same relationship.

21. Speaking of moving, I really love not staying in the same place all the time. I love moving into a new house. I love the excitement unpacking the boxes. However, I don't love learning to drive around in a new town.
22. I bought a GPS for my husband for Christmas. I use it more than he does.
23. I never wear my engagement ring. Instead, I wear my $50 wedding band. It's worth more to me than the rest of my material possessions combined.
24. I never again want to live without wireless high speed internet.
25. I still hope one day to experience being in space. I'll never be able to live without gravity (do a Google on #16), but I still want to see it in person.

A much better day for Kaden...

2009-02-03T23:23:00.003-05:00

Thank goodness.

I stayed with him for about an hour at drop off time. He wasn't happy about me leaving, but at least he was smiling and enjoying himself there before I told him I was going.

I stopped by at lunch and he was eating happily. I got a big *thumbs up* from the lead teacher.

When I picked him up, they said he didn't cry a bit once he calmed down after I left. He's still hanging back a little, but I'll take it! Whew!

:::

Darrell and I both had incredibly frustrating days. Nothing that can't hopefully (eventually) get fixed, but irritating nonetheless. We should find out his unit tomorrow. I should find out what jobs I'm qualified for in the priority placement program (spousal preference for federal jobs on post).

:::

I am SORE. I went to the gym and ran/walked for five miles yesterday, and another run/walk/elliptical/lunges five and a half today. Tossed in some crunches and modified pushups for the heck of it as well. My legs are going to be screaming tomorrow. It already hurts to sit. Yeow!

:::

While this extended stay apartment has been serving us nicely, I can't wait to get our stuff back and be living in our new place. Next week!

So much going on...

2009-02-02T15:49:00.003-05:00

I have all intentions of reviving this thing. If you read it, please leave comments from time to time so I know I'm not talking to myself.

The latest news...

Darrell should find out his duty unit today or tomorrow. This will determine when he deploys next. It shouldn't be until 2010 at the earliest. By that time, President Obama's withdrawal timeline may play into when Darrell leaves (and to where).

I'm unemployed and hating it. Yes, we can go quite a long time on just Darrell's income alone. However, I've never not worked unless I've been a full time student. Yes, I have my thesis to write, an individual study class to work on, and a project to finish, but I need to work. For ME. I should be finding some information out tomorrow about how I fit into the 'spousal priority placement' program. Here's hopin'... While I'm looking for a civilian gig, I'm hoping to find something within the federal government I can make a career out of. The best case scenario would be to get involved in the geospatial intelligence community, but I doubt that will happen at this duty station. Until then, I want something I enjoy that has some upward mobility potential.

Justin is enjoying his new school so far. He's going to school on post, so all the kids are used to being the 'new kid' at school. He makes friends so easily (although he's terrible with names) that I'm not worried about him. We signed him up for the after-school program; luckily one of his classmates goes to the same place so J's all set there.

However, all is not well in Kaden's world. So far, he absolutely hates his new day care. I know he'll learn to enjoy it, but for now it's a painful experience all around. He's hardly eating, he cries off and on all day, and it breaks my heart. Still, he'll have to get used to it eventually, as I do plan to be working full time soon. I'm very surprised he's having such a hard time. It's only been a couple of days, and Darrell and I are hoping he adjusts sooner rather than later.

For the time being, we're staying at an extended stay place until we sign for our on-post townhouse. It's essentially a small apartment. They allow pets, so we only boarded Cammi and Mo for one night. Thank goodness, as I imagine we'd have been murdered in our sleep if we'd had to leave them there the full three weeks we thought we might have to. Cammi especially was not pleased when we picked them up the next morning. She even growled at me. And I'm her favorite!

It is absolutely beautiful here. We love living near the mountains!! We've had a little snow, a few warm (60+) days, and a lot in between. Every morning, I take a moment to admire our natural surroundings; it's a heck of a lot different from Kansas!!

We're moving to Colorado...

2009-01-20T13:31:00.001-05:00

and the movers are at my house RIGHT NOW picking up our stuff.

Never a dull moment...

2009-01-11T23:14:00.003-05:00

Darrell is home from Iraq!! The boys and I picked him up on Monday.

Then on Thursday morning, we found out we're moving to Colorado in two weeks instead of in May. So, yeah, we're driving out of Kansas next Thursday.

Lots to do. Fortunately, the pieces seem to be plugging themselves into the appropriate puzzle space for them without too much effort. So far... *crossing fingers*

Just a Common Soldier

2008-11-11T16:48:00.002-05:00

He was getting old and paunchy and his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion, telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he had fought in and the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies; they were heroes, every one.

And tho' sometimes, to his neighbors, his tales became a joke,
All his Legion buddies listened, for they knew whereof he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer for old Bill has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer, for a soldier died today.

He will not be mourned by many, just his children and his wife,
For he lived an ordinary and quite uneventful life.
Held a job and raised a family, quietly going his own way,
And the world won't note his passing, though a soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth, their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing and proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell their whole life stories, from the time that they were young,
But the passing of a soldier goes unnoticed and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution to the welfare of our land
A guy who breaks his promises and cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow who, in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his Country and offers up his life?

A politician's stipend and the style in which he lives
Are sometimes disproportionate to the service that he gives.
While the ordinary soldier, who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal and perhaps, a pension small.

It's so easy to forget them for it was so long ago,
That the old Bills of our Country went to battle, but we know
It was not the politicians, with their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom that our Country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger, with your enemies at hand,
Would you want a politician with his ever-shifting stand?
Or would you prefer a soldier, who has sworn to defend
His home, his kin and Country and would fight until the end?

He was just a common soldier and his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us we may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict, then we find the soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles that the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor while he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage at the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline in a paper that would say,
Our Country is in mourning, for a soldier died today.

© 1987 A. Lawrence Vaincourt

Nope, not this year...

2008-09-27T23:10:00.000-04:00

Bummer.

Not probable, but possible...

2008-09-25T10:16:00.003-04:00

The promotion list for E-8s is being sent out to sergeants major today. There's a chance Darrell might be on it. It hits full circulation next week, but usually someone with access starts spreading the word to the lucky ones earlier than that.

Here's hopin'!

Yes.

2008-09-23T12:34:00.001-04:00

On sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs

2008-09-23T09:13:00.002-04:00

By LTC(RET) Dave Grossman, RANGER, Ph.D.,author of "On Killing."

Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always, even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me: "Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another.

Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms, and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa."

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, "Let's roll," which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church. They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs. Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to massacre you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, "I will never be caught without my gun in church." I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a cop he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down fourteen people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy's body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, "Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?"

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for "heads to roll" if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids' school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them.

Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, "Do you have and idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?"

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness, and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: you didn't bring your gun, you didn't train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by your fear, helplessness, and horror at your moment of truth.

Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation: "...denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn't so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling."

Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level.

And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes.

If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be "on" 24/7, for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself...

"Baa."

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

First RUNNING five miler

2008-09-19T18:01:00.003-04:00

I completed my first five mile RUN today. Not my first ever, just my first after starting up the running thing again.

I'm enjoying the Nike + iPod thing so far. I like not having to keep track of laps in my head.

ETA: Ok, that graph is totally wrong. Odd. I ran five miles at a remarkably even pace (about 9:35/mi) and then walked a quarter mile cooldown. Very odd. It shows up right on the Nike.com website. *shrug*

testing

2008-09-02T17:59:00.002-04:00

Does anyone have the Nike+iPod system? Darrell got all the pieces for me for my birthday this year. I've needed the motivation. This is my first run in quite awhile. I wasn't moving fast, but I was moving... Not too bad for a first-back workout.

Or you could just wave your hands madly as fast as they will go.

2008-08-24T16:28:00.000-04:00

That's just as much fun. :)

It's the geek in me.

2008-08-24T10:27:00.007-04:00

I, too, love stuff like this.

A link at the bottom led me to some fun with chocolate and marshmallows. Would have liked to have found the original linked article, though. I'm SO doing that in the spring when I'm student teaching 8th grade physics!

Oooh, and this! Science is so cool.

It's better than Oz!

2008-08-24T09:09:00.010-04:00

If you say "Kansas" to just about any American, the first thing that probably pops into his or her head is The Wizard Of Oz. Or corn. Or wheat. Or flat and boring.

But Kansas has a much more interesting claim to fame. Pluto!

Most planets don't have an official discoverer. They are easily visible and while they weren't correctly identified as planets until long after they were first seen, there is no one person listed in the history books as the person who discovered them. The orbits of Uranus (William Herschel, 1781) and Neptune (Johann Gottfried Galle and Louis d'Arrest, 1846) led astronomers to believe that there was still yet another planet out there to be found, and Dr. V. M. Slipher, director of the Lowell Observatory, hired Clyde Tombaugh to find it.

Tombaugh was only 22 years old and had already built a series of telescopes, each more powerful than the previous, in order to make detailed drawings of Mars and Jupiter. He sent them to the Lowell Observatory and was hired soon after, in January 1929. How he found it is an amazing display of patience and attention to detail:

Each night, when the weather was clear and the Moon was not shining, Tombaugh placed a photographic plate, 14 by 17 inches in size, at the focal point of the 13 inch telescope. The plate had to be held firmly in place by screws, so that it would not shift during its three-hour exposure. It also had to be held at an extremely precise curvature, to an accuracy within half a millimeter, so that the entire large plate would be in focus. Tombaugh would then point the telescope at a precise region of the sky, and make sure that the telescope would rotate slowly throughout its exposure time to compensate for the Earth’s own rotation. After three hours he would remove the plate, replace it with a new one, and point the telescope to a new sliver of sky, adjacent to the previous one. Every few days he would retrace his steps, and record images of the same region he had taken previously. As a result, he possessed at least two plates of each observed section of the sky, taken several days apart. The entire procedure was conducted nearly every night in an unheated dome, often in sub-zero temperatures.

The sequence in which Tombaugh chose to survey the sky was not random. Always he insisted on observing only those regions that were in “opposition” – i.e. directly opposite from the Sun. Since the Earth takes a full year to complete its orbit around the Sun, it would therefore take a year to complete a full survey of a band of the sky. The reason for this choice was that Tombaugh was looking for an object, Planet X, that would exhibit “retrograde motion” – the apparent motion of a planet or asteroid “backwards,” or east to west instead of west to east. For the outer planets, those outside the Earth’s orbit, this occurs when the Earth races by them, leaving them behind and creating the illusion that they are moving backwards. This only happens when the Earth is between the retrograding planet and the Sun, i.e. when from the perspective of an observer on Earth the planet is in opposition. Detecting an object in retrograde motion immediately indicates to an observer that the object is relatively close-by, probably within the Solar System. The stars are so distant that they hardly show any shift in position (or “parallax”) at all due to the Earth’s annual orbit, and their minute shift can only be detected through careful measurement by specialized instruments.

...

Over time he accumulated an impressive set of photographic plates, two each for each region of the sky. But as the plates multiplied, still no work was being done on scanning them carefully in search of an elusive planet. That would involve mounting the plates two at a time on the old blink comparator and going over them, tiny sliver by tiny sliver, with the centrally mounted microscope. Tombaugh could not help but wonder: “who would blink these plates?”

The answer came in June: Tombaugh, who had been hired specifically to conduct the telescopic survey, would now be responsible for the blinking as well. The Lowell Observatory’s entire search for Planet X was now in the hands of a 23 year old with a high school education, who six months before was working on his family’s farm. Once he got over his initial surprise, Tombaugh began filling his days and nights not occupied with observing with hours upon hours of “blinking.”

Blinking was a tough job that was at the same time extremely tedious and requiring exquisite concentration. Tombaugh set about it with his usual systematic approach. After half an hour of blinking he would take a short break, and after another half hour he would walk away from the comparator for at least 15 minutes. “I knew I dare not overdo it or my attention would lapse and I could miss something” he recalled years later. “This haunted me all the time.”

As the months went by Tombaugh became an expert blinker, working at the comparator for nine hours a day when he was not occupied with the observations themselves. He found numerous objects moving in retrograde motion, but judging by their rate of motion they were too close to the Earth to be Planet X candidates, and Tombaugh concluded that they were asteroids. Inch by inch, star by star, Tombaugh would scan the plates. By January 1930, by his own estimate, he had already scanned a million and a half(!) stars, and still - no result. (Source)

It's been estimated that Tombaugh spent 7000 hours hunched over the blink comparator until February 18th, 1930, searching those plates a star at a time. Do you see it? Can YOU see the one tiny speck of light that changed position?

There it is.

Crazy.

(There's a fun side story about how Pluto was named, if you're interested.)

In 1978, Pluto's first moon was found by James Christy because of images like this. The blob in the middle isn't quite spherical. The bulge wobbled around the planet in subsequent images. The moon was called Charon.

It wasn't until very recently, May 2005, that the moon count for Pluto changed when Hubble imaged Hydra and Nix. It is thought by some that Pluto may have more moons, or even rings, still yet to be found.

That will change soon, however, as the New Horizons mission is on its way to Pluto. It was launched in January 2006 and will arrive in July 2015.

Regardless of how Pluto is classified, Kansans in the know will always be able to say we found it first. And trust me, traveling from here and hearing joke after joke about Oz, we're happy to have something else to brag about.

Read more about Pluto with Bill's Plutopia blog carnival.

Spreading the word

2008-08-03T09:35:00.002-04:00

If you haven't discovered This is True yet, please check it out.

The owner of the listserv is having major problems with Yahoo email addresses and has just lost over 10% of his readership, which has led to an accompanying drop in revenue. He's asking for his readers to spread the word.

Thus, here I am. Please, check it out. If you like it, subscribe to the weekly email. If you really like it, please spread the word to your friends.

I've been reading for years, and a few months ago finally spent the $24 to go premium.

One of my favorite geoblog posts ever...

2008-07-26T09:47:00.005-04:00

From here. A snippet:

Volcanoes were here before we snotty, ungrateful hydrocarbons metamorphosed from the goo, and volcanoes will be here after we're gone. They're not always perfect, but they work their calderas off to provide us with a hospitable surface environment. Punk metazoans oughta show a little more respect.

Pay special attention to the comments.

Then check out the response and it's comments. Oh, what fun!

And another.

And the post that started my geoblog reading in the first place? Here. And well worth the time to click on it. Again, pay attention to the comments.

And for my physics/astronomy-loving readers, enjoy.

We're moving!

2008-07-20T22:41:00.002-04:00

We thought the army would leave us here for awhile. We were wrong. Darrell will soon be receiving orders to Colorado. His report date is a month or so after he comes home, but it's in the middle of the academic year. I'll be doing my student teaching, so the boys and I will stay here while he heads out to the next place.

We're pretty excited. I miss the mountains! I'll be on the lookout for a teaching job, preferably at the college/university level but also middle/high schools in the area.

And the best part? My best friend is moving there this week! So, while she's leaving me now, hopefully she can save me a house next door to move into in about ten months.

This was intriguing

2008-06-27T01:53:00.002-04:00

I surprised myself by doing better on this than I thought. An 88.9%. My incorrect responses: 3 different, 1 same.

More:

Adaptive tone test: 1.2 Hz

Rhythm test: 60.0%

Associative Musical Visual Intelligence test: 85% (84.1,88.0,73.5,81.7,91.0)

So, not bad on the tone stuff. Absolutely lousy on rhythm. Good thing I wasn't ever a drummer.

Thanks Chris.

Our little fish...

2008-06-24T21:31:00.001-04:00

Justin passed his level one swimming class last week with flying colors. Level two started yesterday and he did so well that they asked if they could try him out in level three today. He did GREAT! They're going to leave him in level three! Not only did that save us about $40, but it was a huge boost to Justin's ego/morale. I'm thrilled, as I REALLY hope he likes swimming and wants to continue to take lessons. I'd be even more thrilled if he chooses later to be competitive.

It's just about the healthiest sport there is, is pretty low in cost compared to just about anything else, and he's got the perfect body type for it. He needs a 'thing' that he can feel confident in, and this may just be it. You should have SEEN his face when I told him that he impressed them so much today that they're going to have him totally skip over level two. So proud!!

2008-06-16T20:51:00.002-04:00

Thanks Bill, for the idea.

This page of the blog. Not at ALL surprised that TIME is first. I hope the next few months show a different result.

Kaden's words

2008-06-09T00:09:00.003-04:00

hi, bye, baby, uh-oh, mama, papa, eye, mouth, ear, nose, belly, hair, Mo (the cat), apple, banana, up, down, (sign) please, choo choo, ball, more, (sign) eat, (sign) more, hot!, all done, help, stuck, balloon (only he can't say the 'll's), monkey, drink, milk (only he calls all drinks milk, so he'll hand me his cup and say milk, but then gets mad if it's not juice I put in there), hot dog, green beans, truck (tuck), juice, cheek, elbow, brush, Elmo, dressed, shoes, duck, quack quack, trash, hat

So, 42 words/phrases so far, and pickin' up steam fast!

ETA: How did I forget Mine! and NO! ???

Me and My Boys

Job prospects...

Our new dog, Tank

Achalasia talk...

Wendy's!

I'm a professor again!

Dinner!

Woo hooo!

Board results out Thursday?!!??

A little better...

Wiggle seat update!

Riley has cancer.

Riley is really sick.

It's starting...

The tree is up!

Sam's favorite mashed potatoes

Another yummy recipe

Christmas Crafts!

Can't go wrong with cheese and bacon.

Thank you, Anne.

Promotion?

Pretty smart guy.

Meet: Riley

Kaden and the Wiggle Seat

Thanksgiving without Sam

Civilian living in the Army

Dinner!

A year and a half?

Geology makes Lamebook!

It's been forever...

Student Loan Debt

3rd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division deploys to Iraq

Water consumption in Edmonton during the gold medal hockey game

Well, if you want to get technical...

On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

Nantucket, I applaud you!

Freezing rain...

Work update:

I love earthquakes. But...

Finally officially working, but...

How cool is this?!

Another wow.

Wow.

Almost there...

Fer real, transparent aluminum!

Just for fun...

Reminds me of RPI...

Laughing so hard I'm crying...

Happy 3rd, Kaden

Today, please remember...

Why...? Was it worth it?

Let's do a time warp!

My baby is three today!!

*sigh*

Oops, it's been way too long...

And I wait again...

Why is it...

Still some work to do...

A new kind of anxiety...

Why did the fault line cross the road?

Sometimes I feel like a fraud...

Recent pictures of the boys

Bribed with ice cream

Hmm.

Mind boggling...

It's the little things...

Another net theft

Making of a Military Wife

Making of a Military Wife

It feels great to be productive

Almost a week?

Another 'typical' military hardship...

Not all about military moving is as easy as unpacking, though...

Military moving

Moving often disrupts our dining life...

Kaden might be hitting his wall...

No major plans for the day

Love it when a mistake ends up in MY favor!

A bit of good and a bit of blah...

Took a drive over to the new place today...

sigh